Thursday, September 28, 2006

The real author is...

Love this story:

LATEST: Songwriter PAUL VANCE has blasted reports he's dead, insisting it was an imposter who passed away earlier this month (06SEP06). Vance, best known for co-writing the 1960 novelty song ITSY BITSY TEENIE WEENIE YELLOW POLKA DOT BIKINI, has been inundated with concerned calls after news broke yesterday (27SEP06) that he'd died of lung cancer. However, the irate musician insists the victim, 68-year-old PAUL VAN VALKENBURGH of Ormond Beach, Florida, was an imposter who claimed to have written the hit himself under the name of Paul Vance. The real Vance admits he was astonished to read his obituary in newspapers, and see two of his horses dropped from races yesterday (27SEP06) because people believed he had died. He says, "Do you know what it's like to have grandchildren calling you and say, 'Grandpa, you're still alive?' "This is not a game. I am who I am and I'm proud of who I am. But these phones don't stop with people calling thinking I'm dead." Van Valkenburgh's widow ROSE LEROUX, who claims never to have known her late husband was lying about the song, says, "To have it come out now, I'm kind of devastated. "If this other man says he did it then my husband's a liar, or he's a liar."

This opens a whole world of possibility:

Sean Scully, 78, famous author

Sean Scully died this morning at age 78 at his home. He was most famous for having written the novel "4th of July" under the name "James Patterson."
He was born in 1967. His writing career began than same year when he wrote the novel "The Chosen" under the name "Chaim Potok."
In 1974, using the name "Ed King," he collaborated with Gary Rossington and Ronnie Van Zandt to compose the country-rock hit "Sweet Home Alabama."
Although the claim was often dispuited by historians, Mr. Scully was also widely credited with composing the bulk of the Beatles catalog, under the name "Lennon McCartney." His family says he also co-wrote "The Great Gatsby," which was published 42 years before his birth.


dogimo said...

I swore I commented on this!

I had something about "oh, the poor woman," and then something about but what's the good of claiming having written all those books if you're dead, and then I wrapped it up with something subtly implying that you had written the bible.

It was like a cross between coherent and cohesive.

I swore I wrote that. Some other clown better not claim credit!Ï

Sean Scully said...

Hey, it's not nice to swear, Geode.

Oh, I forgot to add that I served two terms as Governor of Colorado under the name of Bill Owens. I also performed on the Grand Ol' Oprey under the name Buck Owens. My oversight.