Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Reasons why John Street may have switched to Independent

Former Philly Mayor John Street has mysteriously switched his party affiliation to Independent, despite the inherent disadvantages of doing so under Pennsylvania's wacky political system (including being unable to vote for his quirky brother Milton, who is running against Mayor Nutter in the Democratic primary on May 17). Why, we wonder. Why? Here are some possibilities:

1. Wants to challenge Mayor Nutter as an independent
2. Wanted polite excuse not to vote for Milton in the primary
3. Secretly afraid that Milton might win; worried he might have to save city himself
4. Mixed up forms; Independence Blue Cross wonders why he requested info on the "Democrat" health plan
5. Thought he was filing his Business Privilege Tax form; trying to tell city he is an independent contractor
6. Got really, really drunk in Old City; Also had sexy hula girl tattooed on butt.
7. Hoping federal investigators won't recognize him after the change
8. Mistakenly thought it would get him out of jury duty
9. Mad that Democrats are inviting that clown Gaddafi to run
10. To fuck with our heads