I think it is clear that the advice our mothers gave us - always wear clean underwear - is, while wise on many levels, simply inadequate to cover the many peculiar situations that we might encounter in life. Some other advice might include "don't wear a dress, makeup and earrings if you are a man who is about to be arrested" and "do not commit an act of self gratification in a crowded public library." It is certain that this man's mother somehow missed giving him this crucial advice.
Later addition: in cruising around the Smoking Gun after posting this, I discovered this mugshot, which really speaks to me. From the "Never, Ever Give Up" file, here is the way I would like to be remembered if my life goes horribly, tragically, completely to Hell.