Banned for life

Somehow, Facebook decided that I have become a Spammer. I don't understand - they won't explain. It has something to do with my efforts to contact friends of Virginia Tech students in the wake of the shooting there in the spring, a story I was reporting for People magazine. I've been through several layers of making complaints, all with no result. I finally, in desperation, wrote to the founder of the company some weeks ago. No answer so far.

At first I was really pissed off, because no other website has had any problem with the way I and other reporters operate. But then I cooled off and began to wonder if it might not be kinda cool to be one of the few people banned for life from Facebook. I haven't really decided. Perhaps I should take an informal survey: is it Cool? Or should I fight to the death?

Mark Zuckerberg, CEO
Facebook, Inc.
156 University Ave
Palo Alto, CA 94301

May 24, 2007

Dear Mr. Zuckerberg,

I find myself in an intensely frustrating situation with Facebook and it is a last resort that I write to you.

I am, and have been for many years, a freelance reporter for People and Time magazines. I am a 17 year veteran journalist. In recent years, as have many other journalists, I have made use of social networking sites – including yours – to contact sources on stories. At no time have I had difficulty with any of these networking sites or received complaints about my activities.

Until this month.

In the course of reporting on the shootings at Virginia Tech last month, I had occasion to contact a considerable number of Tech students and friends of the victims by way of Facebook and other sites. As is usual in a case like this, the majority of those people ignore my inquiry and I made no effort to persist. One person rejected my inquiry with a profanity. But the remainder, easily more than a dozen, responded. I interviewed many of them and I responded with thanks for those that said they preferred not to be interviewed. At no time was my approach to these people rude, obtrusive or harassing. If you review the communications, you will find that I was unfailing polite and respectful, as has been my habit in sensitive crime cases throughout my career.

And yet on May 3, I received a notice that my account had been flagged as having distributed Spam. I appealed immediately, explaining my purpose and behavior in detail. Several days later, however, I discovered that my account had been deleted. I further appealed and had a lengthy discussion with Pam in your appeals department, the contents I will attach. I informed Pam that I had founded a new account after my first one was deleted.

I now find that account has been permanently disabled. Pam informs me that I will never be allowed to have an account at Facebook.

As you will see from my correspondence with Pam and James, I have no desire to act in any way that runs afoul of your rules. It is my invariable purpose to act in good faith – I believe you will see that I was completely transparent and open with Pam and James in this matter. I wanted nothing more than to find out why I had been flagged as a spammer and how I could prevent such a problem in the future.

As a reporter, my inability to have a Facebook account is a serious liability. I have seen no sign that you have engaged in a widespread crackdown on journalists or have forbidden them to use your site. I can only assume this is some sort of misunderstanding, but so far I have been utterly unable to determine how and why I was flagged for having crossed the lines so seriously as to rate a lifetime ban. I want nothing other now than to clear my name and determine how I may use Facebook in good faith and transparency ...

Please help me understand what happened and how I can resolve this matter. I have reached an impasse with any other avenue.

I look forward to hearing from you.

New Media, Old rules

A discussion group I have been a part of - or more accurately, a series of loosely related groups - has been going through an unpleasant period. Lots of hard feelings. Lots of bruised egos. Some nasty childishness. It has been most discouraging. I've known most of these people, electronically at least, for five or six years. It used to be a refuge for me. I spent a lot of time interacting with these people after I started working from home, a move that deprived me of the normal social network provided by working in a newsroom. This was my virtual version of the water cooler. Fortunately, I've managed to keep out of the actual fights online, but the fallout has been hard on all of us.

One of the players wisely observed this:
"We've gotten OLD. We can't take a joke and we can't handle criticism. We don't think people are worth the effort that forgiveness costs, nor do we think they deserve it."

And I think he is right. It got me to thinking about the way the Internet changes some of the rules for building - and dismantling - communities.

These sites of ours illustrate an interesting inversion caused by the Internet. In real life, building a group of friends is relatively hard - you generally have to meet people based on geography: school, work, church, neighborhood, whatever, then overcome social and cultural barriers of age, class, nationality, race, and so on. On the Internet, it is uniquely easy - people of common interest can come together despite considerable differences in age, race, geography, all of that. So that's really good.

But the interesting thing is that in real life, breaking up a group is fairly easy. People move away, get married, develop new interests, get a new job, go to a new school. Groups tend to disperse. On the Internet, however, breaking up is relatively hard. None of the things that allow a group to be fluid, to drift apart before the members get on each other's collective nerves, don't really matter. If you move? No problem. Get married? No problem, nobody notices. Go to a new school? Get a new job? Move across town? Still in touch. To get away, you have to actively drop out and quit going to the discussion group, which is in a way much more difficult than drifting away, as you would do in real life. So the group remains, year after year after year. Resentments build. Interests change. On and on and on. We get tired of each other.

Imagine what would have happened if your best group of best buddies from College or High School had kept living in the same dorm together for years and years on end. I bet you wouldn't be such good buddies now. Or at least there would be ugly fractures among the group. But I'd bet your best buddies have all scattered, or at least spun off to some degree. Sure you're all still good buddies, but now, instead of seeing each other 12 hours a day, seven days a week, you see each other 12 hours out of every few months, or talk on the phone once a month, get together on the weekend once in a while. That doesn't happen as easily on the Internet - you're much more in or out. You either living there in the dorm day after day or you've dropped out of school.

That's what happened to us, I think.

New York

I stood on the 45th floor looking out over Central Park and experienced a moment of vertigo, more existential than physical. It occurred to me what an astonishing monument to impermanence the city really is. It is a city that is dependent entirely on its outside support network. Every element must work to near perfection. If any element fails, the city would die in a matter of days. It's like one of those Renaissance aristocrats who displays his power by engaging in no physical activity, awesomely powerful in society, but defenseless in person. New York has rendered itself nearly helpless as a symbol of its immense power - it alone can command the kind of support it takes to keep eight million people alive on a low-lying series of islands and peninsulas. Perhaps this is why New Yorkers are so edgy about crises, from power outages to terrorism - on some level, they know that if that intricate support network were to fail, even partly, their lives would not only become impossible, but unimaginable.

Humans like, I think, to imagine that the places they build are as permanent and solid as the mountains. But the Manhattan schist that pokes out of Central Park and the towering bluffs along the Hudson mock that. Humans can move flatten those mounds of rock, but only at enormous cost and effort. One could fly a fleet of aircraft into those bluffs along the river and barely make a mark.

As I looked out along the northward spread of Manhattan, I became suddenly aware how little stood between my feet and the ground 500 feet below.

Just when I was beginning to weary of the Green Flash Brewing West Coast Pale Ale, I find this - the Green Flash Imperial IPA. It's incredibly strong and hoppy - 9 percent alcohol with a considerable hop kick, but lots of flavor. For a beer this strong and hoppy, it has an excellent balance. I would say it is better than Victory's Hop Wallop, which I love.

From the AP this afternoon:

ENID, Okla. (AP) - Detectives arrested a 12-year-old girl and her 10-year-old sister for allegedly abducting their neighbor's 1-year-old son and demanding $200,000 for his return.

Brandon Wells was safe back at home Thursday night, hours after intruders broke into his family's residence and took him while his mother, Sheila Wells, slept, police said.

"I've been doing this 18 1/2 years, and this is the first time I know of when a 10- and a 12-year-old kidnapped a 1-year-old," said police Capt. Dean Grassino. "It definitely ranks up there with the unusual crimes."

The siblings, who were not identified because of their ages, are accused of sneaking into Wells' home at about 5:30 a.m., taking Brandon and leaving a ransom note.

"If you want to see your son again then you won't call police and report him missing and you will leave $200,000 on the sofa tonight and we will return your son back safe," the note read, according to police.

The note was signed, "the kidnappers."

The plan began to unravel when the girls' mother saw them with the child, police said. They told their mother they had found the boy on the corner, police said.


I have to say I am impressed. This is the kind of go-getter spirit we need in the younger generation. Well thought out, decisive, well executed (except for the whole Letting Mom See You With the Baby thing, of course). And $200,000? What a perfect number. I say let's get this girls into business school, not reform school.

They said "Butt"...

Like most of my recent experiments, I found this one in Virginia. The Butt Head Bock is a decent dopplebock lager from Tommyknocker Brewery and Pub in Colorado. But it doesn't rise much above decent. It's richer than one would expect from a lager, darker in color. Should be refreshing on a hot day. I'm more fond of Ales - and when I do lagers, I like Victory's assorted types. It is, by the way, deceptively strong - north of 8 percent alcohol.

Two hearts aren't enough

This came highly recommended from the owner of a very nice beer and wine store in Virginia. It's from Bell's Brewery in Michigan, which I have heard of but never tried. He said Bell's is among the best in the country now.

I have to say, however, I am not an immediate convert on this. The Two Hearted Ale is, well, a little thin for my taste. It doesn't have the kind of hop punch I would want from an India pale ale. It's not bad, precisely, but it is not memorable. I am struggling to come up with adjectives to describe the taste, which is a bad sign. It does have a nice sort of grassy aroma, but the smell doesn't translate into the flavor. This is probably a good beer for a hot day, when a lot of IPAs would be too heavy, but it's not one I'm going to go out of my way for.

Let's start with a can

I picked this Sea Hag IPA up in Richmond while visiting my brother. It caught my eye only because it was in a can - very trendy in good beer these days, but not something I've tested yet.

So I bought it.

The verdict?

Nothing wrong with it. A nice dark color. A little bit malty. Not very IPA-like, but tasty. The can I had seemed a little flat, though not completely. And there was a little bit of chunky sediment in it, but that's not a crime. It's a little low on the alcohol scale for an IPA - around 6 percent - but that too isn't a crime.

Perhaps I will buy it again. Perhaps not. At least I know that a decent beer can be had from a can.

Beer is good

I have decided to devote my life to beer. I know this is sudden news, though to those who know me, it may not come as a surprise. I just hope my family and friends understand my decision. I hope someday they will come to understand and appreciate how vital this mission is. The very future of humanity could be improved by beer. (Or at least good beer - I believe Coors Light is a frightful existential threat to the universe itself. But that's another post). Who knows what changes this could bring to my life, but the cause is worth it.

Why bother to escape?

Let's pause a moment to consider that this man:




was on the lam in Utah for several days last year, then managed to escape briefly earlier this month after killing an officer escorting him to a medical appointment.

I suppose the man expected to simply blend into the crowd? Excellent planning.

You can't go home

ARGH. ARGH. I repeat - ARGH.

I happened to be in the vicinity of my native Alexandria, VA this morning, home of one of the quintessential old timey Krispy Kremes of which I spoke (the others of my acquaintance are in Richmond and Bristol, Tenn.) So I decided to take my boys to the old homeplace. We pulled up and I discovered that the miserable bastards have TORN DOWN THE OLD LOCATION and replaced it with one of the NEW, HYGENIC FACELESS BLAND GODDAMNED OUTLETS. Yes, I know I am yelling. But it is a HOWL OF OUTRAGE. And no, the doughnuts didn't taste the same.

Damn.

Even more fun with appliances

Hewlett-Packard Company
Customer Service
3000 Hanover Street
Palo Alto, CA 94304-1185

April 26, 2007

Dear Sirs,

I am writing you using my three year old Gateway laptop because my nine month old HP desktop is even now preparing for its second round of warranty service.

As you may guess, I am not writing to congratulate you on the excellence of your machine.

I bought my m7500y last fall after comparing it carefully with Dell and Gateway in terms of price and features. I was coming off a bitterly bad experience with a Sony Vaio and I was hoping Hewlett Packard could make my life easier. I had previously bought an HP machine in 1999 and I was nothing but happy with it – it operated without a hitch for seven years, long after I had retired it as my business computer and given it to my son.

The new unit, however, has not proven to be as useful as my old HP.

Fortunately, it operated perfectly well for low-intensity applications I use for my business, such as Microsoft Office and my various web browsers. But any time it was confronted by a high-intensity application, such as a video game, it would begin to shut down unpredictably. At first, I assumed this was because of the intense system requirements of certain of my favorite games, such as Elderscrolls IV: Oblivion. Over the months, however, as more and more games proved impossible to play, and even some of the bundled programs, such as the diagnostic system PC Doctor, experienced the same problem, I concluded that there was a systemic problem.

In March, therefore, I called HP support and entered a long, slow, inconvenient world of frustration. Let me preface this by noting that your phone technicians have been nothing but polite, helpful and cheerful. Despite the occasional difficulties we experienced trying to make our respective Indian and American accents mutually understood, I have no complaints with the individual performance of the techs.

That having been said, I have not been pleased with the results of my experience.

Unfortunately, I did not keep rigorous records of my calls, so I cannot say exactly how many times I have called, but I think it is at least seven, perhaps more.

At first, the tech walked me through resetting my virtual memory. That failed to solve the problem. When I called later that same afternoon, another tech suggested that I had a physical problem with my RAM and might need warranty service. As he was processing the claim, however, his computer crashed at his end. He told me someone would call me back within hours.

Two days later, I had heard nothing. I called back and a new tech reviewed my case notes. He consulted with his supervisor and came back and disagreed that I needed warranty service. Instead, he said, I could solve the problem in minutes over the phone, but I would need to buy a Smart Friend warranty, despite the fact that I had bought an additional two-year warranty at the time I bought he computer.

I was in no mood to argue, so I plunked down $59.99 for a "Smart Friend" warranty. The tech who took my call was as sweet as could be, but she walked me through exactly the same series of steps the first tech had walked me through (at no cost, I might add), burning up something like 32 minutes of the 45 minutes that my $59.99 bought.

That did not, however, solve my problem. So I called back on the free line.

The new tech listened to my story, reviewed the notes, then opined that the first tech had made a mistake in resetting my virtual memory and he suggested new settings.

That didn't solve the problem either.

This is where I begin to lose track of how many times I called.

Suffice it to say, therefore, that after a few more calls, I finally convinced a tech that there was some systemic problem and he set up warranty service. I disconnected my computer and set up my aging old Gateway laptop to run my entire professional and personal business (and it has done a near perfect job, I might add – including handling some of the advanced games that crashed your brand new HP).

That brings me to today.

To my delight, the warranty took less time than predicted. The unit arrived back at my door nearly a week ahead of schedule. I was delighted. Until, of course, I opened the box and discovered that the door that conceals the main DVD drive was broken, flopping open uselessly. It worked fine when I sent it out, and the invoice suggested that your warranty technicians had checked the unit for cosmetic problems.

Obviously they missed this small detail on the top front of the tower.

So now I am sending the unit back for yet another round of warranty service on a problem that never should have happened. The technician who was processing my return order said his system had crashed midway through (the third time this has happened when I have called tech support) and promised to call me back within two hours. That was 5 p.m. eastern time. Twenty hours later, with no call back from you, I made yet another call to tech support, spending another 20 minutes on the phone to complete the previous night's business.

In the end, assuming that the problem gets fixed correctly, here is where I will be: I will have gotten only limited use of my new HP computer for about seven months. I will have spent a month on the phone, during business hours when I could have been billing clients, getting your techs to diagnose an obvious defect. I will have spent $59.99 on a Smart Friend warranty I did not want and turn out not to have needed. And I will have been denied the use of my new HP computer entirely for something like three weeks while the unit transited back and forth for warranty service.

All I can say is thank God I bought a Gateway laptop I can rely on back in 2004, or I would have no computer on which to write you this letter of complaint. Perhaps next time I buy a desktop, I will consider buying one of their products.

Famous Names that are Fun to Say

Try this at home, kids. Say it along with us:

Shinzo Abe

Vuk Draskovic

Sylvia Poggioli

Junichiro Koizumi

Gulbuddin Hekmatyar

Butros Butros-Gali

Kweisi Mfume

Mike Krzyzewski

Ryuichi Sakamoto

Valery Giscard d'Estaing

Kwame Kilpatrick

Romano Prodi

Jacques Chirac

Vojislav Kostunica

Zoran Djindjic

Saib Erakat

Abol Hassan Bani-Sadr

Twins are Good pt. 3

The Watson Twins finally get out from under the shadow of Jenny Lewis and make an appearance of their own on Morning Becomes Eclectic on KCRW today. The sound quality seemed a little mushy, and the girls didn't have quite as much to say as I had hoped. And yet, it's good to see them get some exposure and they sounded good. And the band, including most of Slydell, sounded really tight. I look forward to seeing them live if they ever get out into the provinces. And they say they have a new album coming out, though the one new example they played today sounded more like album filler than lead single material. Guess I'll buy it anyway, though. Twins are good, you know.

Creative slacking

Thanks to a vexing problem that has rendered my beloved Netscape 7.2 increasingly unstable on my increasingly unstable new HP computer, I have been forced to convert to the FireFox browser. And I like it.

FireFox has all these little doodads you can add, some useful, some not. But I am charmed by this little feature I stumbled upon, called, perfectly appropriately, StumbleUpon.

Basically it is a random website finder that adds a little tool bar to the browser. When you first sign up, you pick from a long list of general topics that interest you. Then you press the little button and up pops a randomly selected website matching one of those interests.

My expectations were low, and I mostly suspected this was some twisted way to sell me something (probably is, actually, though it's not clear yet how), but I have been highly entertained by the results.

In the first five minutes, up popped a world map that shows the current sunlight coverage (need to know how bright it is in Alma Ata? This is your baby), a graphical thesaurus that displays the relationship of various words (hard to explain. Completely useless), a website that somehow combines Young Earth Creationism with a belief in Ancient Astronauts (equally hard to explain and equally useless), a website that gives the top ten reasons why fundamentalists are hypocrites (funny, if a little harsh), and a website with the 10 most powerful American photos of the 20th century. Sadly, I popped through without saving the links. So you'll just have to try this little game yourself.

Now this is a good use of time. I am hooked.

Eagle Eyed Copy Desk

The Excellence in Copy Editing Award for this year certainly goes to my old buddies at The Daily Progress. This from the January 8 edition of their Charlottesville Business Journal insert:

To their credit, only four of the 20 total pages were in this condition. The rest were perfectly normal. Well done, guys.

Best headline of the day

Hell, it may rank up with the best of the year.

From The Allentown Morning Call today:

No More Sex Parties in Coopersburg

Frankly, I don't even care what the story is about. There is no way it could possibility it could live up to its promise.

The Jails Would be Full

From this morning's Atlantic City Press:

Impersonating a Band could become a Crime in New Jersey

I read this headline and had a brief surge of horror and hope - if this were true, there would be lots and lots of so-called musicians in jail.

I guess it is best that this bill refers only to groups of musicians who get together and claim to be classic oldies acts like The Drifters. The Polyphonic Spree and The Black Eye Peas are safe from prosecution - for the moment...

"Why I hate General Electric" and other fun with appliances

General Manager
Customer Relations
GE Appliances
Appliance Park
Louisville, KY 40225

Nov. 15, 2006

Dear Sirs,

Today I had my two year old GE washing machine hauled away as scrap. In its place is a brand new Kenmore, which I have every confidence will last me far longer than your machine. In fact, it is hard to see how it could possibly fail to be a better machine than yours.

Let me start from the very beginning. There was a time when I considered GE a good name. In fact, when I renovated my kitchen in California some years ago, I bought a GE front-loading washer and dryer set and installed them under the counter in my laundry room. I was entirely pleased with the units, so it was with no fear at all when I moved into my new house in Philadelphia in late 2004 and found it completely outfitted with gleaming new GE appliances.

But that's when the trouble started.

Within the first month or so, the GE dishwasher blew out and was out of service for a month while your techs ordered a new electronic control unit. They were unable to explain why a brand new control unit would have blown out in the first place, but they did eventually replace it, although I spent the first months in my house hand washing my dishes.

Within a year, the washing machine began bucking and heaving and making an awful noise. The tub leaned over in an alarming manner, hitting the metal frame with such force that chunks of plastic broke off the top of the tub. The tech who responded said that some sort of plastic collar under the agitator had cracked. He assured me he had never before seen such a problem.

A few months after that, after the warrantee expired, the same thing happened – the machine began bucking and heaving in a dangerous manner while on the spin cycle. The tech responded and found that one of the shock absorbers that hold the tub steady in the spin cycle has mysteriously popped out of its slot. Again, he assured me he had never seen such a thing. That little adventure in engineering excellence cost me $100.

In July, however, the problem reoccurred. I called customer service and was told that I would have to pay for the visit. After a long and tense conversation, the customer service rep grudgingly agreed to waive the cost of the service call. She said she would have someone from customer service contact me about the problem, which never happened. The same tech came back out, found exactly the same problem, slipped the shock absorber back into place and again assured me that he had never experienced anything like this.

At this point, I emailed a long a testy letter to your customer service email, listed on your website. I received an automated response saying I would hear from someone within two days. I have received no response thus far. I will attach a copy of my previous letter and the email response for your consideration.

In August, a very nice young lady called to survey my satisfaction with the service visit. I gave GE the lowest possible marks, told her of my growing frustration. She said she would "red flag" this for customer service right away and have someone call me within two days. To date, nobody has called.

Earlier this month, the washer began exhibiting the same symptoms. I called customer service on Nov. 6 and the rep waived my service fee and scheduled a tech for Nov. 13. After I demanded a new machine and told her you had sold me a lemon, she said she would refer my case to a board that reviews replacement requests. Today, almost two weeks later, I have heard nothing from them or anyone at customer service.

The final straw, however, came on Friday of last week, when I found a message on my answering machine saying that GE has "a number of techs out sick" and would be unable to honor the Monday service appointment. They had taken the liberty of rescheduling my appointment for the following Friday. When I attempted to call the customer service line (800-386-1215) to explain that this was neither acceptable, nor even convenient given my schedule, a recording came on telling me that operators were unable to take my call due to technical problems. Laundry was piling up in my house, which is home to two small children, and I was unable to find a live human being to discuss my problem. I find it utterly mind-boggling that GE was able to predict with such accuracy on Friday that its technicians would be ill three days hence, and would therefore be unable to fix the problem GE itself had created, but that GE was unable to put a live person on the line, or at least make a voicemail line available for frustrated customers.

The next day, I drove to Sears and bought a Kenmore. I paid an extra $10 to have Sears haul away your washing machine. It left through my front door about 12:30 p.m. today and I say good riddance. I will include a copy of my Sears receipt to show you how much I was willing to spend to be done with General Electric and to show you money flowing to one of your competitors thanks entirely to your complete incompetence in design and customer service.

The worst part of this experience was not the machine itself. Everyone makes mistakes and I was willing to forgive you for a machine that was defective. The real problem was the appalling customer service. At every step, I have found it difficult and inconvenient to schedule service through the automated service. It required considerable resourcefulness for me to find a number where I could talk to a live human being, and once I did find that number, there were occasions when I could not actually access an operator. When I did access an operator, I found them dismissive, rude and even bullying – several explicitly threatened to charge me the full price of a service visit if the problem I reported turned out to be my fault. This occurred even while my appliances were under warranty. And at no point did anyone ever follow up on any promise made to me by any employee of GE.

Frankly, I don't care anymore if you ever contact me or take any action on this letter. I don't care if your replacement board eventually decides to bestow upon me a new washer – I don't want it. You can keep it. I will never again buy a GE appliance. I might very well not even buy a GE light bulb just to make a point. I will continue to tell my friends and relatives, and even casual acquaintances, what junk GE appliances are and how bad your customer service really is. I will do everything in my power to steer them to other brands.

I am tired of being ignored. I am tired of being bullied. I am tired of living with badly designed and defective appliances. I am tired of GE. Good riddance to you all.


CC: Jeffrey R. Immelt, CEO
James P. Campbell, CEO GE Consumer


My earlier letter to GE customer service:

Dear Sirs - I have nearly had it with your appliances. I moved into my home less than two years ago. It was thoroughly renovated and smartly outfitted entirely with new GE appliances.

Since then, I have had nothing but problems.

My dishwasher died within two months and was out of service for several weeks while the repairmen waited for parts. Both my dryer and washer failed within the first year. The stove malfunctioned within 14 months, though fortunately I was able to fix the problem - I discovered that the frames that hold the over racks had become misaligned, setting off some sort of switch that prevented the oven from heating up correctly. The refrigerator is so poorly designed as to border on useless - among many serious defects, the pull-out drawers in the freezer chronically stick and hang-up, preventing the door from closing fully, allowing cold air to escape and the internal temperature to rise dramatically.

But what brings me finally to express this howl of outrage is your notable turkey of a washing machine.

As I mentioned, it needed service in the first year, because the tub was not turning properly on the spin cycles. The service tech explained that there was some sort of collar on the spindle that held the tub in place. This, he said, was cracked and needed to be replaced. The machine worked adequately after that.

But just a few months later, after the one-year warrantee expired, the tub began making an ungodly noise and leaning to one side. The machine hopped around dangerously, making me fear that it would damage the floor or wall or gas connection for the dryer.

The repairman came out and discovered that, as he explained it, the shock absorbers had jumped out of their normal tracks, upending the tub. He replaced the shock absorbers in the groove, but not before charging me something like $99.

Now, only about four months later, the tub has again skewed to one side and began making the same loud noise and again the machine began jumping around alarmingly. The symptoms are exactly the same, leading me to suspect that the same problem the repairman fixed last time has reoccurred.

This happened on the same day that you had the gall to send me a solicitation giving me the opportunity to spend $73.15 per year on an extended service contract.

Let me blunt about this. There is no reason that a machine that is less than two years old should have malfunctioned catastrophically three times. There is no reason that a machine that is less than two years old should NEED a service contract unless you know perfectly well that you are manufacturing cheap merchandise.

I am now in the awkward position of trying to decide whether to throw more money down the sewer by repairing this chronic turkey, or simply replacing it with a washing machine from a more reliable brand, perhaps say Kenmore (my mother has a 25 year old Kenmore that has never so much as coughed, let alone become non-functional for even a brief time).

There was a time when I thought highly of GE products. Now I will certainly think twice, perhaps three times, before ever purchasing another GE appliance. I have, for the last year, taken the liberty of telling all my guests, who admire how nicely my house has been renovated, that my only regret is that it was outfitted with GE appliances - and I often take the time to show them precisely why the GE products are unsuitable. I certainly plan to share my story with the Better Business Bureau and anyone else who will listen.

It would take quite a bit to regain even a fraction of my loyalty. You could start by repairing, or better yet replacing, my washing machine. Oh, I know it is out of warranty now, but it is perfectly clear to me that you sold me a lemon. To add insult to injury, I find it impossible to get a live human being on the telephone line to pass along my tale of woe. At very one of the numbers posted helpfully on your website, including the numbers labeled "Live attendant," I get nothing by a circular voicemail that passes me off to yet another voicemail, and so on.

I look forward to hearing from you, hopefully in human form and hopefully before I am compelled to buy a more reliable model from another company.

Fun with the Law

In the course of a small assignment for the Philadelphia Business Journal today, I had occasion to interview a lawyer named Tobey Oxholm, the creator of the new Drexel University law school (how cool is that - there are only a handful of people ever in human history who can say "I created a law school." That is a really excellent career aspiration). He turned out to be an interesting guy - almost had me thinking about law school again for the first time in more than a decade (I wanted to be a Supreme Court Justice, another really excellent career aspiration. Fortunately I realized that is a slightly specialized ambition and backed out before I wound up writing briefs on tax law for the rest of my miserable life).

In any event, I asked him for a headshot - one of those canned mug shots that newspapers run with profiles and so forth. So moments ago in my email, I received this:



I think I like this guy.